Cattastroficka: One of the greatest things in life

Saturday, October 25, 2014

One of the greatest things in life

is having a 20lb cat flying into the room you are in, then immediately fly right back out, the whole time bouncing across the floor making thumping noises with his feet. It's really quite funny. I don't know why cats do this? Fun? Happy? I was cooking the other day standing at the stove stirring or something and after about 5 cat passes behind me, I realized Mojo was flying up the basement stairs, through the kitchen, into the living room, screaming, then back through the kitchen and skidding out on the vinyl. Over and over. He'd chirp when he stopped in the living room, freak out a little bit by bouncing around crying, then come flying right back into the kitchen. He really entertained himself for quite a bit. Of course, the dawgs were outside.

He's also a cricket whisperer.

If I have the back door open there's a small space between the screen door and threshold that crickets can squeeze into the house. He lays there waiting for them. I've witnessed it. He does nothing too..... when they come in. He watches them come in.... they meander down the stairs then proceed to chirp in the basement for two weeks until they die. I swear he lays there in the landing calling to them. He watches that tiny slit opening like a hawk.

He will also kill feet for ribbon. Ever seen this pic? That could be him. You drag a ribbon along the floor and he will be sure to annihilate your feet if they are in the way. He doesn't even have front claws. He shreds them with his back feet as he does a mad impersonation of Fred Flintstone trying to get a grip on the floor. You'd think that a 25 lb cat couldn't move like that. You are WRONG.

He's also addicted to catnip. I keep it in the living room hutch. He begs for it.

If I open that hutch, he. is. right. there. He can be in the basement, in a dead sleep and he can hear that hutch open. I hear his 30 lb body madly thomping up the basement stairs, then he screams through the kitchen and slides like a baseball player into home plate aka the living room. His back feet grab the carpet to stop and pivot toward the hutch. Then the mad talking starts. It's a pathetic ramble of craziness. Think of Jim Carey. Utter nonsense, shrill at times and all over the place.

I pour the catnip onto the carpet. If I really want to mess with him I pour it into my hand then rub it between both palms to release all that catnippy goodness. He will bite me if I put one of my hands too close to his nose. So I don't do that anymore. But sometimes I grab the back of his neck to hold him down and smash my catnipped palm into his face and rub really fast. It's a soft smash, not enough to hurt him. It's quick too, like 3 seconds. THAT really fucks him up. Me smooshing my catnip smelling palm into his nose....LOL But he loves it.

Can you imagine making a human feel this good?

And that, my friends, is why cats rule.