Life after mouth cancer

So maybe you bounced here from another place. Welcome. Don't stalk me. I'm not worth it. I ugee. Need me to prove it? I can. My mouth isn't the same. I speak with a speech impediment. But it's okay. It's my new norm. I've heard others on message boards speak those words, "It's my new norm". But I never understood it until me being me was the new norm. I have a permanent spot in my nose that seeps and bothers the shit out of me, but it's okay. It's life. This new norm is a lot better than dying of cancer. But I know that will come too, someday. But not if I can help it.

I went out and found myself a new job! No shit. Had to. Laid off after 16 3/4 years. No shit. It was a good thing. A very good thing. My insurance is cheaper and better.  I make $400 per year less than I did at my last job, but with the monthly savings of $200 on insurance I now make $2,000 more per year. See how that works? There's A LOT more than more money and better insurance too at this new job. EVERYTHING IS BETTER. And when I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING. I'll move on now. ;)

I just ate some Eggo waffles. They are so good and crispy. I've tried to make homemade crispy waffles and they just don't turn out like Eggos. So I give up. Yep. After several different recipes, some with butter, some with oil, some with vanilla, some without, some with cinnamon, some without, AP flour, bread flour. I just can't duplicate the amazing crunch and soft inside I get from Eggo waffles from my toaster!! So I give up! I'm going to stop trying and commit to Eggos for life! I tried too. I tried hard. I've always been one of those people that feel homemade is always better, but bam! Not with waffles. LOL It's so freeing to just give up!! I CAVE!!

I also like Mrs. Buttersworth better than real maple syrup too. There! I said it! I just did a taste test. I got out my Skinny Sticks Maple syrup from Wisconsin and challenged it against Mrs. Buttersworth. The maple syrup is like eating pure liquid sugar with no flavor. Mrs. Buttersworth is creamy and actually taste buttery! And maply! More maple than the real stuff. So I caved on that today too. No more maple, only Mrs. Buttersworth. (a long time ago I compared Mrs. Butterworth to Aunt Jemima syrup and MBW won that challenge)

I feel great after cancer. I feel better now than before. Losing 55 lbs helped. I'm a size 8-10 now, depending on the day. I have such cute clothes!!!  I had lost 70lbs but I've gained 15 back because food is finally good again! Not all food, but most. I now have a sweet tooth. Never had one before but when my taste started coming back, sweet things tasted the best. So now I'm hooked. LOL

I still can't eat most meats, like roast, or steak or any type of pork. Too dry. I don't have the saliva in my mouth to be able to break it down and I end up spitting it out. Even adding liquid into my mouth with it doesn't help. But I can eat things like ground beef, fried shrimp, fried zucchini, spaghetti sauce with meat (which hasn't really come back to tasting like it used to yet), breakfast burritos, sausage, bacon, ham is okay if it's moist. I know, ham is pork. Shadup!  ;)
Anyway, I'm back to eating 80% of what I used to. In fact yesterday I even ate a McDonald's crispy chicken sandwich! It was great! Things with a sauce are easier, or creamy things like tater tot casserole, scalloped corn, green bean casserole, fettucine alfredo, lasagna etc. My mouth only opens about a finger's width so it's hard to eat tall things like sandwiches. I have to flatten them a bit or bite at side angles. It's quite interesting to watch me eat. LOL Think of it like this, ever eat a Little Debbie Nutty Bar? I can barely get one of those in my mouth, that's the farthest I can get my mouth open. The space between my teeth I mean. I can't bite an apple, I have to cut it. I also can't eat apple peels because they don't break down enough to get past a stricture in my throat. A stricture is a narrowing in my esophagus. I had surgery last January to open it wider and it worked. But it's still there so I have to make sure I chew my foods good so it doesn't get stuck in my throat. Or I have to eat things that are malleable, that can change shape to get down the narrow area, like mashed potatoes.  But apple peels do not conform, and a lot of meats don't either. Another reason I can't just eat a bite of pork chop. Combine dry meat, no saliva and a narrowing in the throat and it's a panic when it gets stuck!

My ears have a constant ringing. It doesn't bother me at all. Don't even notice it unless it's quiet. I have two belly buttons, one is from the feeding tube. Haha
Here's what my arm looks like now.

Here's what it looked like right after surgery.

 

That doesn't bother me either. It's pretty wild how these things are so low on the totem pole any more that I don't even think about them. Just the new norm. There's that saying again!

I kind of feel I came through all this with flying colors and a few scars and other things really don't matter that much in the grand scheme of things.

Well, off to go make three July 4th wreaths for a friend. Talk atcha next time.

New Puppuh!

Should have posted this sooner, but we got a new GSD three weeks ago. She's twelve weeks old. We named her Lucy Sue. She's a blast. Sweet, lovable, funny, smart and a holy terror. LITERALLY.

She bites our feet and legs as we try to walk, well, because that's fun!
Poor Stark gets the brunt of her demon affection. He tolerates her about 95% of the time. When she's really irritating his lip will go up.

Ava tolerates her 60% of the time. Her lips are up, A LOT. Hehe

Mojo tolerates Lucy about 98% of the time. He didn't like her the first 10 days or so but now she can smell his butt, so that's progress, right? He no longer hisses at her either. Just tolerates the nose bumps and what not.



Sisi.......well, let's just say Sisi hates her. The hate has dissipated from 500% to about 100% at this time. Sisi will flat out stalk that dog and whip the shit out of her with all four declawed feet. Okay okay the 'stalking' has slowed.....  Lucy is totally submissive to everyone. Thank God. It'd be hell around here if she thought she was alpha.

She has decided the dog bed in front of the TV is hers though. And true to her submissive behavior, she shares.

That's her and Stark. She's his shadow. Not that he wants that. LOL

Jeff thinks I got her to replace Ava who is 10 and starting to fail. I didn't.

I got her to replace me.

Oh no worries that we love each other with all our hearts.

Just sumpin else. Sumpin else.........

My own personal scent! Me Fragrance!

I knew there were companies out there that you could make your own perfume scent, so I decided to try it.

After perusing a few I found some were too expensive, too hard to figure out, too whatever. Then I found Me Fragrance. Yes!! Exactly what I was looking for. I DO NOT get endorsement from them nor do I 'own' any part of them, in fact except for my order, they have no idea who I am.  They do not know that I am blogging about them. I received my first (I say first because hell yeah I'm going to do this again!) order today and am thrilled with it! It's all my faves in one bottle plus I got to name it and it showed up with the label and everything! My nickname has been Loulabelle since I was like 6 years old.

The scent fits perfectly with the name too! Frilly, feminine, sweet.

You get to choose up to 6 fragrance oils like rose, musk, grapefruit, pine, just to name a few. They have A LOT to choose from. Here's what I chose:

Gardenia, Magnolia, Honeysuckle, Musk, Frankincense and Cherry Blossom.

Once you decide what fragrances you want,  you need to pick the percentage of each one. Also some are top notes, some are middle notes and the rest are base notes. So they have some guidelines to follow when choosing,  like you want the percentage of top notes to be around 25%, base 30% and middle 35%, or close to these numbers. Here's what I did.

Top Note: Cherry Blossom 25%
Middle Note: Gardenia 15%, Magnolia 20%, Honeysuckle 15%
Base Note: Musk 15%, Frankincense 10%

You must get them to equal 100%, so you fiddle around to get them where you need. It was a little tricky at first but once I got the hang of it, it was a breeze.
Before you begin it asks you what size bottle, the shape of the bottle etc. I chose the biggest one they had because it was only around $27, which to me is a steal for the size and I designed it!

Okay I must admit I chose really florally, sweet, intense scents, because they were my faves. When I buy candles I always go for the magnolia or gardenia etc because they are super intense.

did I say I LOVE MY PERFUME!!!???   I DO I DO!

It's so me! haha

Now that I have chosen my faves in this bottle, I am going to play around with other scents to create a new one. I think I will go for a deep scent this next time. Heady and manly. I don't know!  I just know I'm going to be broke!

The website is here:

Me Fragrance


Give it a whirl!

Freaking hilarious

This is so funny that I came out of hiding. I laugh so hard that I can't breathe and get tears in my eyes. It's way too funny to not post it.

O.M.G.

So, I email an ebay seller thru ebay messages this question:

Hi, is it possible to get the unstretched bust measurement from armpit seam to armpit seam, please? Thank you for your time and trouble.


 She listed a top that I was interested in but didn't provide the measurements, so I wanted to see if it would fit me.


This is the response I received:

Hi, This is not stretchy material ...its 100% polyester. Thanks, Kimmy

 

 

WTF?!

 

I thought my question was relatively easy to understand. I ask for unstretched because I had a seller once only give me the stretched measurement.  (yeah I could go on and on about non-intelligent ebay sellers, but that will be for another day)

I don't wear clothing tight and stretched.

 

So I responded:               and the bust measurement is..........................

 

I'll give her kudos for responding again: I will get the measurement as soon as I can get it pulled. Thanks. Kimmy

 

So in other words, I will never receive the measurement. I've heard this so many times. LOL Just as well. I wouldn't buy from her now if she paid me to take the item because there will surely be something wrong with the top, like a ripped seam, or stain.

 

I'll happily give my money to someone else. Very happily. LOL

8 hours later: Just received a response.

Hi, B=42". See atrached pic of bust measuere. Thank, Kimmy


(sigh)

 

 

 

 

 

Wow, what's it been

months? Year? Been a while.

Don't get your hopes up, I'm not feeling very writey.

During cancer treatment some things stuck with me in a bad way, but others didn't get bad at all.


I play a game on my iphone called Word Seek. I found it when I was staying at the Hope Lodge. The music it plays brings up bad memories of the ill feeling, the mucus in my mouth, brushing my teeth every 20 minutes, losing a portion of my hair, the infections, the loss of taste, and the losing control of my life,  but I still play. LOL

When I would get my radiation treatments, I'd hear Kings of Leon. And it was always the exact same songs every time. Even with that, there are no memories with their music that bring back anything bad. Not like Word Seek. Isn't that weird? I find that weird. It's probably because their music is the greatest. Sub-par word to describe it, but it fits.


Found out Sunday my SIL loves Kings of Leon too. Makes life extra super special when someone 'gets' what you get.


Know what I think is funny? Cats named Betty. So far I've heard of two. My sister's cat and a co-worker's daughter's. OMG what's the correct punctuation for that sentence? Christ I about had a coronary typing that last part out.

I love dreams.

No I'm not on opioids. LOL Sounds like it though, doesn't it? ;)

Sia -----Bird Set Free

This is probably the most mesmerizing dance and song video I have EVER seen in my life. I just wish I could find someone else who finds it the same. Sia's birthday is the same as mine-December 18th.  

Watch this. It's incredible.

The dancer is Ricky Ubeda. Winner of So You Think You Can Dance. Rightfully so.

Roux-B Caliente!!

I got my car!! I picked her up Tuesday the 16th.

She's freaking gorgeous. Fast!! She's lighter than my 2013 by 200 lbs. She goes from 0-60 in 6 seconds and boy is she throaty sounding! Sounds like a muscle car. LOL

She's the only one in Des Moines with the Brembo brake package. She has Bluetooth etc. LOVE IT!! She seems to shift more smoothly than the 2013.
The first day I went to work I couldn't get her into reverse. I had to have Jeff get out of bed to show me. Since she is a 6 speed, the reverse is right by 1st gear, instead of being under 5th. Have to push down on the stick slightly to move it into reverse. Easy smeasy. Must be a safety feature so people aren't shifting into reverse at stop lights and stuff.
 She's HAWT!

I haven't used my stomach feeding tube for 9 days now. Today will be day 10. Yay! Food is starting to really taste a whole lot better although some still suck like spaghetti sauce. I can eat chocolate in small quantities. Egg salad on Pringles, and refried bean pizza are soooo good. LOL I've lost 70 lbs and am a size 8 now. Not for long!! Ha!! Having a blast buying cute clothes. Although I think I had cute clothes when I was size 18, my clothes now just lay better and I look better. I never had a problem being a big girl. I have the body type that carries weight well, and I always weigh more than people think I do. It's the way I am shaped I think. Or big bones. That's what my mom always said. LOL

I still have some edema in my face and am seeing a therapist for that. I massage my face and push the water under my skin to different channels to flow down my neck. It works! If I don't do it every day it gets tight and hurts. It's tight when I wake up.

I bought the Star Wars complete saga and am going to have a Star Wars watching marathon all by my lonesome. Jeff really isn't into Star Wars and has never even seen the first one from 1977!
I KNOW, RIGHT!?!

I had a major crush on Mark Hamil way back then and saw Star Wars in the theater three times, twice by myself. I was so bold back then, I'd never got to a theater alone now. I'd drag someone along with me. Or bribe them. heehee

I have a bunch of wreaths to make too. July 4th, Hawkeyes, beach, Autumn.....it's so good to be back to normal.

Beachy Wreath and one for the hell of it and Roux-B

Never made a beach themed wreath before. I'm making two and this is the first one. It's huge. Turned out rather nice. The second one will be smaller and more rustic. I'm making them for my boss. He was good to me during cancer treatment. Too good. I will never be able to repay him for what he did.

 

 

The above one just made for the fun of it. I'll see if I can sell it to someone at work.

 

 

Oh and guess what. I'm trading in Loo-Cee for a 2016 Miata. It's cherry red and a Club so it has the bose stereo. Going tomorrow to haggle. I hope it's still there after work!

  Gonna name her Roux-B.

 

 

 



Good people get rewarded

One of the gals at work really went above and beyond while I was going through my cancer treatment. Good books, funny books, gifts, cards,  the whole gamut. So I made her this wreath in appreciation. Hope she likes it. She chose the colors sage, purple and yellow. I added the red because I found the perfect little sign for the middle of it and the sign had a red flower too.

She loved it and sent me a pic of it above her fireplace. I'm so glad.

 

 

 

I found the PERFECT place in our home for the wreath you made for me.  Beautiful there and the perfect size and scale!  And without measuring.  Amazing!!!

 

I am so grateful and humbled that you shared your talent with me.  It so makes me smile J !

 



Dr Phil Show

Evidently there were just too many words in this sentence that had the 'ie' or 'ei'  for them to get this right.....