New duck duck?

Jeff and I seem to agree that last night we had a completely different mallard land in our pool. Mike and Molly ALWAYS come and leave together and except for little duck garbles they make,  they don't talk a lot. Plus they had just left about 1/2 hour before the different one showed up. They don't do that --stay and then come back rather quickly after leaving. They show up once in the morning and stay a couple hours then show about 7PM and stay anywhere from 2 to 6 hours.
The one that showed up last night would not let me anywhere near him plus he kept quacking. Mike and Molly now let me as close as 4 inches from them. Jeff's the one that first said it was a different duck and I disagreed. Then as I watched him, I finally had to agree. He just acted different than Mike. I think he's out there now (it's 4:00 central time) because there isn't a female and he stays on the other side of the pool, away from me. I'm kind of assuming it's one of their offspring from either last year or this year---if they grow that fast?? I think they do since they have to fly south for the winter, so
they have to be adults by the end of summer, right? (not that I'm saying this is the end of summer or anything because that would be weird and really off-right?)??

Here they were doing a little water dance. I figured it was a mating thing. They've never done this before--diving. I just love these little duckies.

They did this for quite a long time too. At least 4 minutes or so. Cute.

Here's a video I just made. For posterity. It might seem the cancer is really small, but there's a benign tumor farther back and that is why the whole inside of my cheek will be taken out.
Here, I just videoed this:

 

It doesn't hurt nor interfere with anything, unless I open my mouth real wide, because then the top of the benign part gets stuck on my teeth. You can see how I had to move out my lower jaw to get it off the teeth. I'm not too optimistic that I won't need radiation, because that benign part just keeps spreading. I doubt they can get it all or get it to stop without radiation. I also think that since it's been 3 weeks since the CT scan, I WILL have it in my nodes, therefore I will need chemo too. I am going to be one sick puppy by the end of August. 

I have to admit. I'm kinda likin Martha Stewart. Have I made that proclamation before? I even watch her when she makes stuff I don't even wanna make! Now that's sad. LOL! Today I watched her episode where she makes a breakfast strata, oven baked French toast, pean and ham quiche and Dutch baby pancakes.
http://www.pbs.org/food/features/martha-bakes-breakfast-episode/
Okay, I watched just for the strata but OMG I am going to have to make those dutch baby pancakes too. SOMEDAY. I'm hoping I will be able to eat again at least by October. I know I will lose weight but the way I like food I will be a size 18 again in no time. LOL! Unless....my tastebuds and saliva glands suck, or it's hard to chew and swallow. That's going to KILL this Foodie I tell ya!
Food is one of life's greatest joys. I hope it's not totally destroyed for me. I hope, I hope, I hope.

I also hope I make it through surgery because I have a heart arrhythmia. There's so many things that can go wrong with this 5-7 hour surgery. I'll say it again. I'm so scared.

Doctor speak

I have discussed surgery with Lori in some detail. She also discussed surgery with Dr. Chang today. We described a transoral procedure for en bloc resection of the right buccal cancer including the oral commissure. She would have a right neck dissection. I discussed reconstruction with her, specifically a left-sided radial forearm free flap and split thickness skin graft to the arm donor site. We discussed the expected perioperative course, including the possible need for tracheotomy and the need for a nasogastric feeding tube. We discussed risks associated with reconstruction, as well as risks associated with neck dissection including weakness of the marginal mandibular nerve and the accessory nerve. We discussed the risks of trismus that the cavity buccal resection. We also discussed the possible need for scar revision both at the oral commissure as well as to reduce redundancy of the flap. We discussed the possibility of microstomia and medial displacement of the right oral commissure. She understood these issues and wished to proceed.


This is what happened today. ^^^ U of I give their patients access to everything happening to them. I love it!

Soooo, my inside right cheek will be replaced with the tissue and vein from my left forearm. A thin skin graft from one of my thighs will cover the forearm wound. My mouth will get smaller because he doesn't want to do a skin graft on my lip, so my lips will be asymmetrical. I may need plastic surgery down the line not only for my lip, but also the inside of my cheek. I may have loss of sensation in my mouth, lip and neck. I may have nerve damage also. They won't be replacing the muscle in my cheek (Yay) and they plan to take it (the inside of my cheek)  all out in one large chunk. Therefore they can check the margins for cancer. If the margins are clear, no radiation.
So basically I feel better than I did. I'm ready for this. I have a long road ahead of me as long as I make it through the surgery.

I will be in intensive care one night. In the hospital for at least 7 days, and out of work for at least a month. BAH!!
I will be posting videos of myself, when I can.


I will beat this. Because NO ONE...NO ONE messes with a woman in menopause!

I believe I have a new favorite band......AND A NEW IPHONE6

My first fave band was ELO, then Crash Test Dummies then Blue October....now I think Kings of Leon has nudged Blue October off the edge....


I mean listen to this!!

And this!  (fickle is spelled wrong)

This!!

More!!

I had recently bought the Black Keyes CD El Camino and burned a disk for the jeep for Jeff so I could "turn him on to a new group." He said all the songs sounded a like. I kind of agree, but also know that after listening to an album many times you don't think that any more. But with Kings of Leon, NONE of their songs sound like another. Very diversified. I bought their album, The Collection Box. 5 cds and one video in one collection. Hellish. Just freaking hellish. Had to buy it on Ebay because I couldn't find it in town.



ENJOY.


There's more great songs by them, so be sure to check them out.

After having a flip phone for the last 4 years I finally got my own iphone!! I love it!! So user friendly and now I can text like a mad woman! I'm going to need that when I can't talk after surgery. 

Newest cancer news.

I will be meeting with my oncologist on Friday the 29th. Also with the anesthesiologist. I was told June 3rd is a possible surgery day.

I won't know until Wednesday.


Here's what I am in store for, as far as I know, I will get more info on friday.

 

They will take the benign tumor out, along with the cancer area. It will be the complete inside cheek area on my right side. They will do it from inside my mouth. At the same time another doctor will be removing my blood vessel, muscle and skin from my left forearm. They will also be taking out my lymph nodes. Definitely on my right side, don't know about the left. That will be done from the outside. So I will have a scar on my neck. They will replace my cheek muscle and blood vessel with the ones from my arm. They will also skin graft the skin from my forearm on my inside cheek. I was told the success rate for the muscle is 98%, so that's good. It's the skin graft that's the worry. The skin won't have it's own blood supply so they will have to pack my mouth so the graft is pressed to the inside of my cheek. Tracheotomy?? Probably a yes. He said I will be so swollen that I won't be able to breath out of my mouth and nose. The skin on my arm does not stretch, so if they put in too much, I could have excess that gets in the way of my chewing. If they put too little, I won't be able to open my mouth. He said they can always take some out further down the line. After 6 weeks of recuperating, I will then have radiation. I don't know if it will be zeroed in where the cancer was or if it will be a broad radiation. Either way, it's going to eff up my saliva glands. I may have trouble chewing and swallowing and could possibly choke a lot when eating. He didn't mention chemo this last visit, but I have a feeling I will have to have it. I may as well count on it. Better to be surprised if they say I don't have to have it.

 

Below is after my last major biopsy on April 23rd. I was a little out of it filming this. LOL!

The surgery will be 100 times worse than this. I'm so scared.

Videos of our ducks-Mike & Molly

The second one shows Ava The Poopinator in action--so watch if you dare....

No 2 stinks!!

Does anyone understand why I think this was so funny!!! bwaahahahahaha


This was just on our local news.....

"I'm probably more like number 2."

"That would stink, eh?"

Mike & Molly are back! Quack Quack!!!

Yep, for those familiar with last years' posts, we have two ducks that show up this time of year and swim in our pool (the cover is still on). They'll stop showing up in about 6-8 weeks. Last year was the first time they came. It's so cool. I was so happy they showed up this year after being diagnosed with cancer and all.

Okay, now on to that subject.

The cancer in my mouth is along the surface and is about 1/2 inch by 1 inch in size. I have two enlarged lymph nodes, one under my chin and one in between my chin and ear in the neck. They didn't light up but he assumes they are cancerous. So they will come out along with others I suppose. He says the cancer is laying against the muscle in my cheek and he wants that muscle out too. So I have to have the artery/vein in my forearm, along with the muscle in my forearm placed in my cheek. The worst scenario I didn't want to happen. So much for hoping. He does say he thinks he can get all the cancer. I am in for a hell of a surgery, 6-7 hours and 6-7 days in intensive care. I will probably have a tracheotomy because I won't be able to breathe through my mouth or nose. Then six weeks of recuperation,  then 6 weeks of radiation. Fuck. Yeah Fuck. My summer from Hell.

Been a bad year for me. At least I will live. For now anyway. Crossing my fingers. Now I just have to make it through the surgery.
 So far no chemo is scheduled. I had Jeff take a pic of the back of my hair in case, since I just got it long for the second time in my adult life.

I hope to be well enough to post of my surgery and progress. We'll see. My brother had the radiation and I know I'm in for a hell of a ride.


This is my doctor. I like him. I told him to do what he has to do.

Today's Homeowner

I DVR this show and today they had some good tips for using coffee filters for other things. I already do use them to cover food in the micro and decided to video it for this blog. I especially liked the tip about putting them in the bottom of a flower pot. Man! I could have used that tip the other day!

I've learned a lot of good tips from this show.

You should check the show out!

It's cancer

Confirmed. I had a CT scan today and will get the results on Wednesday. Wish me luck.

Doctor's appt

Evidently I am seeing the doctor at U of I for a consultation first. My appt is tomorrow morning. I suppose he will tell me what will be involved with the surgery and the biopsy findings.

Remember when I posted that pic of Dr. Phil's show with the misspelled word? Today there was one on Ellen!

She was going around the audience making a fake life about her audience members. They misspelled accountant here.

I wonder if she noticed. She didn't say anything though if she did.

Wow it's been a LONG time since I did an oil review. Let's see what I have.

How about Uriel by Nocturne Alchemy!?
Wasn't Uriel an angel? I may be wrong. It's golden in color. Of course. LOL

Yum, in the vial it's definitely a man's fragrance. Something unique in here. In fact, I couldn't even try to guess what's in this. It's so good though!

I just googled it and I was right! Uriel is an archangel. I don't know the difference between and angel or an archangel. Just wiki'd-and archangel in an angel of a higher rank.

Thick resin and incense of holy myrrh and sandalwood.


NO WONDER I LOVE THIS!  This is so smooth, not at all sharp like you'd think incense could be. I wonder if there's some honey in this to add that mellowness. I also seem to smell some grasses. Smoky. Leatherish.  I hope it's still available.

It is! Woop


Uriel

WTF was that!!??  LOL

Still here!

Well, last Thursday I had the big biopsy of my right buccal area in my mouth. (That's non laymen terms for the inside of my mouth cheek.)
Was told at the time that it would be 5 days for the results.
Never heard from them until my apt yesterday. Yeah I know. No news was bad news.

He said the first pathology reports were good but he decided to send the tissue to the University of Iowa Hospital where he says is the best ENT team in the Iowa. It came back that they think there may be squamous cells in a part of the tissue. They are not sure.

So now I will have to go to UI hospital and have the whole inside of my cheek taken out, skin grafted, then we go from there. Not too worried yet. It's kind of a middle of the road diagnosis. Hopefully they are wrong.
I will be called next week to be told when the surgery is.

I had 3 stitches taken out yesterday and there is one left. Even after 6 novacaine shots he couldn't get it to where I didn't feel him tugging on it. and I'm telling ya, it hurt!

At least I am able  to open my mouth a little farther. The surgery wasn't that bad. The worst part was the stiches and the area under them is so damned tender that I wasn't able to eat hard stuff like chips (BAH!). It was also hard getting food into my mouth and was sometimes funny trying to maneuver food into it. LOL

Lots of doctors bill rolling in. It was $2,500 out of pocket just for my endoscopy and colonoscopy. That's not including the doctor's visits, mammo, ultrasound, breast biopsy, medications, ekg, pathology reports. Like I've said before..... getting old sucks. 

Hey! I've lost 10 lbs!! <blink blink>

Will tell more later when I know more.